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Hi guys! I’m currently sick so I might be spending Christmas Eve in bed tonight with a cup of ginger tea because I lost my appetite. Of all times, my fever decided to kick in today. I admit, my colds have been going on since last week but it’s just yesterday that I had cough and headache and body pains and everything all at once. Meh.

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I hope you’re having a wonderful time with your family this Holiday season! It’s 2014 soon and I am honestly scared for this year to end mostly because I still have so many things in my bucket list waiting to be crossed out.  2013 has been an amazing year for me. There were many “I can’t believe this is happening” moments and having our Immigrant Visa application be approved, was the highlight of them all. I keep telling myself to always be grateful of every little blessing even the tough situations I found myself stuck in, that comes my way because at some point, they will bring me to where I need to be and mold to become the person I should be.

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2014 is looking bright for me. I have this long list of things to accomplish this coming year and I just hope I can get at least half of them done. Through it all, I did realize that when you commit 100% of yourself to something you truly desire, nothing, I mean NOTHING can stop you from achieving it.

Also this year proved how strong and resilient Filipinos truly are. We were faced with so many trials like the earthquake and the super typhoon Haiyan but no matter how hard and tragic it was, we never back down. WE smile because deep down in our hearts all of this will pass. We smile knowing we can surpass this tragedy together.

So yeah, here’s to another year of fulfillment of dreams and turning points! Merry Christmas and advanced Happy New Year everyone! :) <3

xoxo

Steph.

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Miss Moving On

Hi guys! This is a quick post to let you all know I’m moving to a new site at PRETTY LITTLE DREAMERIt’ll have a high quality and fresher content so I hope you guys would still hop on board! I’d appreciate it too if you can give me suggestions on what you want to see and read. I guess, that’s all for now. Thank you so much for being so supportive and for reading my thoughts here. It’s because of you guys that I was able to reach this point where I can say, I’m finally good enough for something. You guys are plain awesome from the very beginning until this very day. I always felt small but you guys made me feel I was destined for bigger things.  I wish we could grab coffee or something but for now, please accept my warm cyber hug >O<

I love you guys and keep shining! <3

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Why Do You Write?

If I was to answer this question based simply on why I am writing right now, it’s because I have a looming deadline for delivery of my manuscript to this writing competition. Like many people, I find that I need some pressure make sure that every day, while everyone is fast asleep, I sit down at the computer and write. In the early weeks after I began writing Letters and Lights, my mom would talk to me about something and I’d snap at her for ruining my train of thought. ‘You must really love it.’ I recall looking up at her, and realizing that she was right. I do love it; I wouldn’t do it otherwise. (There was also this one time, she caught me reading an article about pregnancy. I had to explain to her it’s all for the story I’m writing.) My life is incredibly hectic day in day out, and yet I always make time to write, almost everyday. When I’m doing other things, I’m thinking about writing; when I’m reading, I’m comparing the book I’m reading to my own writing; I’m always waiting for the time when I can sit down and try to put the words in my head onto the page.

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Writers are a unique form of creature capable of synthesizing caffeine, sugar, and insomnia into an infinite number of populated worlds, fully realized and governed by their own set of principles. They may often suffer from compulsions to read large volumes of materials in the name of self-imposed research and show particular attachments to preferred brands of writing instruments,  paper, and/or computer software. They will frequently find any excuse possible to avoid plying stock in trade until pressure of impending deadline forces an explosion of output.

I enjoy the escape writing gives me from real life, the way it lets me explore my own reactions to complex situations, and the satisfaction of coming to the end of a draft, or sorting out a structural problem. For me, writing is an escape, an intellectual challenge, and an incredibly frustrating puzzle that gives me immense satisfaction when I solve it.

Writing is the passion that defines me. Enough said.

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Closer, Faster

I wanted to be the girl with a house sewn into the insides of her bones. With doors that stayed open through the winter chill, with a staircase that leaned to the direction of the milky way, with windows that breathed the honeydew air. I’d open my mouth and release a collection of kelly lives. I’d close my bruised lids to smooth the bookshelves behind my eyes. I would have built you a sitting room with yellow chairs and blue striped wallpaper if I could. I would have built a home for you inside my arms, strung with white lights and paper star lanterns, mint on the floor and handwritten letters on the windowsill.

I wanted to be that for you.

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Online Writing Workshop from Rebecca Hamilton

Hey aspiring writers and everyone in general! I have a special guest post today from best-selling author of Forever Girl, Rebecca Hamilton, where she dishes out how to deepen a point of view in crafting a novel or short story.Without further ado, I give the floor to Ms. Rebecca.

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Continue reading

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My Lungs are Wings

i. I’ve always been afraid of heights.

But all I’ve ever wanted to do is open the multiple rib cages I’m locked in and take in the lullaby of the clear gray skies, the indigo rain on supple sidewalks and carefully guarded masterpieces.

ii. A flight isn’t all I fear.

These four walls are chilling my bone marrow. I could die today and only be able to claim that I breathed green. That my hands that were made fun of wrote into the small hours of the night. But I hid in between the spaces of my tiny handwriting, in the loops of my unkempt cursive. Oh, I think I am dying here.

iii. I fear my own incompleteness, too.

Everyone else is breathing in a beautiful sapphire smoke. Their bodies rise gracefully, their dresses froth down quietly. And my only hope is this hot air balloon, with my hands full of needles. Quite the anchor, I am.

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The Great Escape

“Writing is an escape from a world that crowds me. I like being alone in a room. It’s almost a form of meditation- an investigation of my own life.”

Sometimes writing is an escape. It can take you away. From where you are. But not always to where you want to be. Because when you are writing intensely, you let your writing carry you away to where it wants to go. And you have to follow. You submit to it. You have to let yourself go. And it is tough. Particularly the first time. It is not easy to let go and let your writing control you while you remain a mute spectator to it.

Going with the flow.

But where? You can’t see where the road, or rather the river is going to take you. River is more accurate I think. A flowing gushing river. Where you don’t have much control. But if you relax, you will do better than to resist it. Kind of like the first time you kiss someone. Or rather the first time you are kissed by someone. Interesting thought. The difference between the two is quite a bit I must say. The initiator and the initiated. And that can make all the difference.

But I digress.

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They never teach you “writing to escape” in school. I’m still not sure why that is. Perhaps because they want you to face your problems head-on, like a real man. Maybe they think that all problems can be sorted out simply and logically, like a maths equation. But I was never any good at sums.

So now, as I write this – what comes to my mind – I have totally forgotten about all the stuff that happened today or what is supposed to happen next. I am just letting my thoughts flow on writing.

Yes, writing is an escape.

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Good Times, Good Times

I have a lot of things to look forward to in the coming weeks. Someone will sponsor my very own domain for me alongside a fully customized site. Isn’t that cool!? This person told me it’s all part of a network of blogs much like Martha Stewart’s but with a different approach. If I can be part of something huge from the ground up, then I’m all in! I This is actually a one big check off my bucket list! A year ago, I never knew blogging would open up so many doors for me like sponsors sending me their products to review and now this! It’s so surreal to feel you’re actually good enough for something. 

I created Pretty Little Dreamer a year ago as a place for my thoughts and dreams and late-night meanderings. Now she’ll have her own identity and I can’t wait to see what unfolds for her in the coming years. I’m just so proud of my baby for coming this far. With a new site comes even greater content so I’ll make sure to update that blog regularly with DIYs, fashion posts and some of my write-ups. I hope you guys would still hop on board though.

the very first dreamcatcher I made. Will make a bigger one next time :)

the very first dream catcher I made. Will make a bigger one next time :)

Also, I passed a rough draft of my manuscript to a judge in the Novel Writing Competition I’m joining in and according to him, he’s already rooting for me to win! I just hope i can meet the deadline, otherwise all of this is a waste. There’ll be three winners and all of them get to have their manuscript published ~ independently of course.. but still. My main goal is to win so I can add it up on my portfolio when applying for scholarships/internships in the future.

I told mom all about the good news I’ve been having this week and for her to finally say she’s proud of me is music to my ears. She’s proud of everything I’ve achieved so far and can’t wait to see what I can still accomplish. Honestly, I have a lot of things I want to do for myself and it’s just now that I’m finally breaking out of my shell. I never got the chance to do this back in high school because apparently, they don’t think I can. Yeah well, I know I still have a long list of things to get my hands on, but at least, I got to cross out some off of it and add in a few more. 

This goes to show that it doesn’t matter how small or big your passion is. As long as you have the heart to do it, nothing can hinder you from achieving greater things. Whatever it is you set your heart out to, go chase it. I tell you, every bump and heartache is worth it when you finally get there. 

Here’s to the future!

xoxo

Steph.

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Priorities

I wish that people would stop saying “you’re beautiful”. Tossing it out like candy until it ceases to mean anything. Just like “I love you”, they’ve become words, dulled by overuse and time.

I remember, as a child, people used to tell me I would grow up to be lovely. I used to bask in the compliments and settle in them until I was rolling in the gold of an overeager ego. When I was at the stage where I was aware of how young I was and yet still wanted to stay that way — seemingly wise by my Peter Pan urges to be small and reckless forever — the flowering words were painted onto my skin until I would drown in them. I stopped brushing my hair until it was golden like the sunshine I was not, and when I was given building blocks for my confidence I would carve them into scars.

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Some things, many things, are more important than being pretty. I never wanted to be tall and lithe, never asked to be gifted with a body that could get me into and out of any situation. I wanted to be witty and quick on my feet, thoughts flowing as easily as my fingers now do across a keyboard. My role model growing up was a sentient android genius from Star Trek. Still, at some point I grew addicted to appearance — aware of how much it matters in a world built on material and faces made for songs and movies.

Through it all, I think it’s more important to be able to look at yourself and say “I might not like this, but it’s okay to be a little messed up sometimes. I don’t even have to like it at all.

xoxo

Steph.