The Way Writers Are.

Writers aren’t exactly people…they’re a whole lot of people trying to be one person.

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

So who are writers exactly?

Some people hoard clothing, pets, fast food containers, accessories, exotic primates — but writers hoard books. And eventually all those books, each a storehouse of utter unreality, will bleed into their brains via creative osmosis.

They can come off as strange to other people. Why? It’s because they love details. They pay attention to them regardless of the advice they see on writing books. They take note of what it is that caught their eye and inspires them. They can sit in a cafe and write about the way he smirked at her… how the little girl’s lip shook on the precipice of a good behavior and tantrums. Sometimes they even sit concealed in bookshelves and exercise their spying skills while gathering ammunition from unsuspecting passers-by. It is part of their everyday writing life.

Writers are control freaks, who in reality, have nothing to control. Inside their stories, they are the gods among immortals. Their hands are all on the buttons and switches.

Writers drink so much caffeine that eventually the synapses start to break down like wires chewed by starving squirrels. And then those starving squirrels make a ratty nest of old leaves and smelly yarn inside their over-populated heads. Metaphorically, they end up as gutted automatons piloted by a tribe of twitchy squirrels.

They spend too long cooped up with themselves that the carpet starts moving and the wallpaper shifts and the room starts to whisper. And this is where they start talking to themselves. It’s another tell-tale action of a writer to which the general populace may not ascribe.

Making up fictional people, places and things is the very form of what writers live and breathe to do. For whatever reason, they feel compelled to create the people, concoct villains and fantastic scenarios to live the drama and wild adventures through their characters and live vicariously through others.

Don’t mess with writers. Don’t steal their boyfriends. Don’t do anything unpleasant to their families, belittle their talents and gossip their friends. Don’t try exhausting their very long patience, and don’t say anything bad behind their backs. 

For they might take revenge on you in their next work. You’ll be surprised to  wake up one day reading your name being murdered in her novel. She can even inflict you with a terminal disease or suffer a terrible death. She can do more than that. Keep in mind that writers imagination is  limitless.

xoxo

Steph

 

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