It’s been a pretty hectic week. Caught between work and house chores, I can’t find some time for my own writing. I enlisted for this online writing class sponsored by one of the country’s top authors and as I was going through some discussion thread posted by my other classmates, I can’t help but feel so small. We all have one goal and that is to be published but that’s how far as our similarities go. As you can see, our moderator has top praises for their story pitches and I can’t seem to find my place to fit right in. I’m very disappointed with myself knowing I could do better than this. All my other classmates are professionals which means they’re armed with experience. Then there’s me. A lonely dreamer.
For our first assignment, we had to submit our story pitch. Since it’s a contemporary romance novel we’re supposed to finish by the end of this year, parallel universes and fantastic characters are a big no no. So I had to ransack my brain for ideas here and there. I had three big ideas, most of which came to me in the middle of a good night sleep, but all were turned down. Yes. I felt a pang of pain and desperation that time since I was on a pressure to submit before the deadline.
I was on the verge of explosion. My brain was on an overdrive, looking for story ideas. There was a time that I even questioned if this was for me. Mom told me to give it up if it’s of no use, but I know otherwise. I told myself, one more story pitch and if this gets turned down too, goodbye writing career. I slept on it and when I had the perfect, not “heavy-and-too-challenging” scene plotted out, I submitted it. It was pretty nerve wracking for me. But yes, after weeks of agony, it was finally accepted. On to our second assignment, the ”outlining” round. This is where it gets exciting and difficult at the same time. My characters won’t seem to listen to me and kept on doing their own thing. Ugh.
So I guess being a writer can be downright frustrating at times. Especially if you can’t put into words what you’ve just made up inside your head. But I know for a fact that when I finish this story, it’s going to be the best feeling in the world